Something must break

Posts tagged “poetry

No fucking poetry


Edgar Allan Poe is one of the best known autho...

Edgar Allan Poe. I once wrote a song about his death. And no, you can never get too much Edgar Allan Poe, so therefore his image is in this post. Image via Wikipedia

I tried writing poetry today (also known as “lyrics“), but it fucking wouldn’t work. I don’t have it in me at this moment. I have the potential of making a great instrumental song, but the lyrics? No, not today. Probably too much…no, I won’t say that. I won’t say I feel too shitty, because you can never feel too shitty for art. Art is supposedly better the crappier off you are. And I’m nowhere near a masterpiece, despite feeling pretty bad now. And I don’t have the courage to say it out loud. Or write it directly to someone. Therefore, I blog.

 

Will there in the future be so that pupils at school will have to read through blog posters blog posts? That would be something, wouldn’t it? But why not? If it’s a bit factual or lyrical anyways. Not just “outfit of the day”. That would be more for the cultural studies. It would be grand to be one of those they had to read. I hope it could be me. Don’t think so, but I still hope. I should really get around to writing that fucking book. No idea what it should be about though. It will be non-fiction. As in neither science fiction, nor past fiction. Guess the term should be something like…well, non-fiction. But that’s already coined for factual texts.

 

So I sit here, listening to the same song without any meaning, just because it’s soothing. Comforting even, perhaps. It has nothing to do with my mood. The lyrics are about some party. I really don’t care. The melody is just…calm. Calm and flowing. And then I don’t have to find a new song and a new band and a new album and a new genre all the time. It just is there. It can keep playing all night for what I care. Might change it eventually. Will not be satisfied with changing it, but felt it was what was expected of me. Probably. I was just sitting here in peace and quiet before I put it on.


Now


My heart is in so much pain. The blade is my only comfort. It’s gone too far again.


February 3d, 2011


image

Ironic to forget about writing a blog when I said I wanted to use it as a diary, ain’t it?

Today I woke up dreadfully tired. Luckily, I did not throw up today. This was my first day of taking a bus to school since…I don’t remember when, actually. It’s so freakin’ slippery because of ice today, that movement seems impossible.

My first lesson of today was history, where I learned about Mengele, Roosevelt and some other German guy, and that my teacher was born in Japan!

Then it was time for gymnastics, where I was going to skip it, since I’ve been sick for a long time now, but I wasn’t allowed to skip dancing, so I’ve re-learned how to dance waltz today. It’s not very advanced, but kind of hard to not do wrong when you’re in the moment.

After that it was lunch, quickly followed by a double lesson of language, where we first held some presentations and then were watching a Norwegian movie called “Nine Lives” from 1957, I believe. Quite good, actually. I’ve discovered the guy sitting in front of me is painfully irritating.

Then I got home, didn’t do anything special before dinner, then remembered I have a test in religion tomorrow, so I’ve been studying a bit for that. Also been talking with my girlfriend on Skype today a bit. It was very good to hear her voice again. Sadly it wasn’t that long of a conversation.

I think that’s my day, actually. It’s been a day.