Something must break

Posts tagged “emma

Dear Emma


 

Tonight I had set my alarm to go off at 03.45 AM. It was because I wanted to share a few text messages more before my girlfriend Emma got on her flight and went on a holiday. Her going on a holiday means it’ll be more expensive to send text messages, and so we’ll try to send less of them the following week from now. I unfortunately fell a bit asleep during the text messaging. Not really weird, as I fell asleep two hours before I was waken up again. If I had slept through the whole thing up until now, it would be less than 8 hours of sleep, so I guess I haven’t been sleeping a lot tonight, since I’ve gone on my computer to write a blog post now.

 

The bad thing is, that I fell too hard to wake up again around 6 AM, so when she got on her flight, I didn’t get to tell her that I love her. I didn’t get to tell her, as I’ve always told her before, that she mustn’t die and that the flight must go well. I didn’t get to reply to her three last messages. I didn’t get to tell her the most important thing in the whole wide world to me; I didn’t get to tell her that I love her.

 

I know it’s silly of me to think this way, but I’m really sad now and having a really bad conscience about not letting her know all these things. I feel that if her plane crashes, it will be my fault in a way, and it will also be horrible to know that if that happens and if she dies, she may have thought the last minute she was alive that I didn’t care enough to stay awake and perhaps that I didn’t love her. And I DO care enough and I DO love her! But it’s easy to fall asleep when you wait for a reply.

 

She really means the world to me. Without her, I wouldn’t be here. She saved my life the day we started talking together, which we’ve done every single day for the last two and a half years (and 17 days to be precise). She’s saved my life so many times, I really don’t know where I’d be without her. I’m in tears over the thought of that I might lose her now.

 

Emma, I love you

 

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I love you, Emma


Introduction to this post: I wrote the following post on the train on my way home from being with my girlfriend yesterday. Thought it should be noted.

Title: Words of my heart

It’s been about four minutes since I saw you now and a couple more since we physically parted. Already I can”t wait till it’s Friday to meet you once again. Maybe we should meet more often on Fridays? I’m not sure. Would be great!

To be frankly honest, I can’t wait till it’s weekend at all. I’ll spend the whole weekend with my girlfriend Emma, and I just love it when we spend an entire weekend together. But then again, I always love spending time with Emma. I can’t ever really wait till it’s time to meet once again. Next year will very hopefully be a good year. If everything turns the way I want them to, it’ll be a VERY good year!


Falling in love is so hard on the knees


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Title: Aerosmith – Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)

Yesterday, I was on a lovely date with my dear Emma. I wasn’t in the best shape, so we didn’t do very much, but we did do some nice things.

First of all, we talked! God, I love talking with her. It’s so good and comforting and it’s just nothing like talking to anyone else. She really knows me and gets me, and I her! I know we didn’t really sit down and talk seriously or anything like that, but it was just really something to talk to her, like really TALK, again. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to do. I think it’s because of me.

Second, we had fun! I’ve missed that so much as well! I mean, it wasn’t just tickling, we actually had fun both verbally and physically without just tickling. That was so fun and good and it filled me with a warmth I haven’t really felt in a while. I feel kind of embarresed for feeling all these feelings, but…I do.

Then to what we did. We walked to the Norwegian opera hall in Oslo and just felt the sun warm us while we were talking and having fun and we kissed and took pictures and…I was really happy. I felt a sort of happiness I hadn’t felt in a while.

But after a while, it got kind of chilly for me, so we went back to her place eventually, where we lied down and just talked and kissed for two hours. I miss her. I miss holding her in my arms, watching her face, feeling the warm feeling of safety. Feeling her arms around me as well.

Then we went to the cinema to watch the movie “Black Swan”. I couldn’t really stop looking at her. I wanted to just keep on watching her and kiss her during the whole movie. The movie was interesting, but I was more interested in my girlfriend. I don’t know why, but I’m very much in love with her lately.

After the movie, we headed back to her place, where we would eat trout for dinner. It tasted good, but I get full pretty fast when I’m sick, so I could only take one plate of it. It was a really pleassant dinner. There was laughter and joy and I felt like things were as they should be.

The rest of the day and date, I don’t wanna talk about. It’s a bit too personal. I just hope nothing I’ve already said is too personal as well. At least I hope it’s not for anyone but me.