Something must break

Superwoman And Glassman

Who is this man in the mirror? I can no longer seem to recognize him. Not quite. But still, there’s something familar about him. He seems like someone I once knew. Someone who once smiled everyday and didn’t have a single sorrow or care in the world. This can’t be the same man. The man I’m seeing now, has big bags under his eyes. They are purple…ish. His caring wrinkles in his forehead, are well used. And he seems to be carrying some sort of burden.

 

No, this cannot be that same man. He is so serious. Even when he’s smiling, there’s something serious and dark and haunted about him. His cheeks are also too skinny. Too skinny and too untrained for the smiles this boy I remember once. This boy who had cheekbones made from steel from all his smiling. He used to take care of all sorts of people, both popular and unpopular, and tried to make everyone exploit their full potential. Now it seems like he’s the one in need of this. No, this man in the mirror is not the same person, I’m thinking about.

 

But still, there seems to be some kind of child within him, who’s just too afraid to come out. As if too many bad things have happened to him over the years to actually dare make an entrance. This little child within him who unwillingly makes him smile everytime he sees a baby. This child who wanted so badly to become a big brother. Eventually, that little child realized it was probably for the best that he was a lonely child. He wasn’t exactly thinking back at his childhood with great joy at the ending of it. The thing he remember the most, was the missing. The wanting to have a father around. So he hid under his father’s desk around the time he knew his father would come home, just so he could leap out and at least know that he would bump into his dad. But it wasn’t before years later that his father had any time to him. It was first when he had learned to be tough and manage on his own that his father had time for advices and started meddling into every aspect of the young boy’s life.

 

This man I see in the mirror is a damaged man. A glass man. A glass man whose glass just keeps hardening for every day. Sometimes, it breaks, but he slowly repairs it. Not as good as it was, but he repairs it. He’s worried about so many things in his own little glass world. More than anything is he afriaid something would happen to his girl. The girl of his dreams. The only girl in the world. The girl who happened to be the only one to make him feel less broken. This girl that keeps on helping him, making him stronger and happier, for every day of his life. This girl who is now his family. She is the reason he still gets out of bed every day in the morning. She is there to protect him at all time. She is always there for him. She is his superwoman. And he loves her with all the love he could possibly manage to squeeze out of his heart. He lives for her.

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