Who is this man in the mirror? I can no longer seem to recognize him. Not quite. But still, there’s something familar about him. He seems like someone I once knew. Someone who once smiled everyday and didn’t have a single sorrow or care in the world. This can’t be the same man. The man I’m seeing now, has big bags under his eyes. They are purple…ish. His caring wrinkles in his forehead, are well used. And he seems to be carrying some sort of burden.
No, this cannot be that same man. He is so serious. Even when he’s smiling, there’s something serious and dark and haunted about him. His cheeks are also too skinny. Too skinny and too untrained for the smiles this boy I remember once. This boy who had cheekbones made from steel from all his smiling. He used to take care of all sorts of people, both popular and unpopular, and tried to make everyone exploit their full potential. Now it seems like he’s the one in need of this. No, this man in the mirror is not the same person, I’m thinking about.
But still, there seems to be some kind of child within him, who’s just too afraid to come out. As if too many bad things have happened to him over the years to actually dare make an entrance. This little child within him who unwillingly makes him smile everytime he sees a baby. This child who wanted so badly to become a big brother. Eventually, that little child realized it was probably for the best that he was a lonely child. He wasn’t exactly thinking back at his childhood with great joy at the ending of it. The thing he remember the most, was the missing. The wanting to have a father around. So he hid under his father’s desk around the time he knew his father would come home, just so he could leap out and at least know that he would bump into his dad. But it wasn’t before years later that his father had any time to him. It was first when he had learned to be tough and manage on his own that his father had time for advices and started meddling into every aspect of the young boy’s life.
This man I see in the mirror is a damaged man. A glass man. A glass man whose glass just keeps hardening for every day. Sometimes, it breaks, but he slowly repairs it. Not as good as it was, but he repairs it. He’s worried about so many things in his own little glass world. More than anything is he afriaid something would happen to his girl. The girl of his dreams. The only girl in the world. The girl who happened to be the only one to make him feel less broken. This girl that keeps on helping him, making him stronger and happier, for every day of his life. This girl who is now his family. She is the reason he still gets out of bed every day in the morning. She is there to protect him at all time. She is always there for him. She is his superwoman. And he loves her with all the love he could possibly manage to squeeze out of his heart. He lives for her.
As an introduction to this, I have to tell you what I’m posting now. You see, I’ve figured I want to use my WordPress for more than just regular blogging, so if you look up! Further up than this! Look up to where it says “Home – About – Creatures – Most Special Tweets Of The Week – Stories – Ubuntu”. See “Stories” there? I recently made this. It’s empty yet, but by the time you’ll see this, you can hold your mouse button over the word “Stories”, and there will be a drop-down menu. I’m going to try to post some stories I’ve written from time to time here on WordPress, and I’ll also add them there, so you can find them easier! Isn’t that smart?
But anyways, here’s the first story, and I’ll try to both post them here, as regular blog posts and also in the drop-down menu (as pages). This story is called Cinnamon Scented Candle. Hope you enjoy it, and please do leave a comment, letting me know what you think of it.
Cinnamon Scented Candle
He knew he hadn’t been very attentive of her lately. His work had occupied all too much of his time, and he was feeling guilty. To try to make up for it, he had now made a nice bath for the two of them, with lots of rose petals all the way from the entrance to the bathroom. He had even laid a lot of them gently on top of the bath, so it would look better.
It smelled like cinnamon in there, because of the scented candle he had bought a long time ago, to use for a special occasion. This was a special occasion. It was therefore lid for the very first time.
The bathroom was of the warm kind, with a lot of heating from the floor. There was no electric light in there, only the scented candle and about 10 others as well to light up the room.
He was to stand there in his black shirt, which she had always said she liked, with a full rose in his hand for her when she got back home. He had also written her a love letter, letting her know how sorry he was, and how it would never happen again, because nothing, and he really did mean NOTHING, was more important than her.
The reason why he’d spent so much time with work lately, was so he could afford the necklace she’d been wanting since they’ve met, but none of them could afford. Though this was a good reason in his eyes, he still felt like they were drifting separate ways because of it, and he should rather save for a long time than to try to earn up for it all in a couple of weeks in the future.
Now everything was ready. He was just waiting for her. She said she’d be there 10 minutes after he was prepared now. She didn’t know anything about this. It was to be a surprise. He liked the thought of surprising people in a positive way. If he didn’t succeed with what he had planned, then things could also be stopped before the person it was concerning even knew about it. That’s why he liked surprising people. If they knew what he was planning to do, and then did it, they wouldn’t be as happy with it. At least that’s what he was thinking.
The wait seemed to last forever. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so anxious. The time couldn’t really move any slower either. He thought to himself how weird it was that he was so anxious, because, after all, this had been his girlfriend for a long time now. He then caught himself thinking of her still as his girlfriend, though she was know his fiancé. When she said yes, his heart had exploded of joy and he couldn’t stop smiling for a week. He had even been smiling in his sleep.
He figured he was probably anxious since he was worried whether she’d like the surprise or not. After all, not all surprises one might find great is as good for others.
He heard her steps outside their apartment now. His heart was pumping rapidly faster. He had to take a deep breath, and then start to smile. There was the sound of her keys, now entering the lock. She unlocked the door and opened it up. He smiled as he saw her.
Since the apartment was pretty dark, it looked as if she was sent from heaven with all the light from the corridor behind her, shining through as she entered. She looked like an angel. He had always thought of her as his guardian angel. The one that was sent to earth to be with him, for reasons he never quite could figure out. She was just so perfect to him, with her long, brown, straight hair, that reached her about halfway down her back, her soft, blue eyes, her cute little nose, her long, slender body, her legs that could drive any man crazy, her cheeks that were just so perfectly shaped, and just the fact of that every little detail about both her body and personality was just like if they were customized to fit him.
At this very time she entered the apartment, she looked like she was tired with a lot of things on her mind.
He smiled at her and welcomed her home. He gave her the rose and a kiss, and told her to come along with him. She followed him, but she didn’t seem very enthusiastic. Of course, his welcome had brightened her mood a bit, but she still had a worried expression over her face. He had taken her by the hand and they were walking slowly towards the bathroom. He smiled and told her to go inside. She did as she was told, and started gasping, before bursting into a much bigger smile. She turned to him and gave him a big hug and then a big kiss, before suddenly seeming like she wasn’t happy about the surprise anymore.
“Is there anything wrong?” he asked her. “There’s something I gotta tell you” she replied. He was asking if they should not get into the tub first, since it was warm now, but she told him she had to say it before they went that far.
“I think you should sit down” she told him, and so he did. “What’s wrong, honey?” he said, with a face filled with worrying. “I know you’re trying to make up for all the time we’ve been apart now…and I think that’s great! Don’t get me wrong! But…there’s something I’ve just gotta tell you”. He was so scared now, that he didn’t know what to feel. His heart was pumping faster than a train now. It wasn’t the same kind of pumping it’d been doing when waiting for her. Now it was a worried pumping, not an exciting, awaiting pump.
“What do you have to tell me then?” he managed to say after a few seconds had gone by. He could see she was looking for the right words, while standing by their kitchen counter. She was looking down on the floor. “I…I…I…” she stuttered. “I kind of…slept with someone else while you were working all the time”.
He could feel his heart exploding, turning into thousands of thousands of pieces. He was so heart broken that he didn’t know what to say, what to do, what to feel…or, perhaps, he did know what to feel. He felt betrayed and hopeless, because all he’d wanted, had been given to him, but now she was telling him that she’d been with someone else, while he was working to get her something she’d been longing for. He had tried to be a good husband, but she had just let him down because he didn’t have the time and energy to be at the top at all time with her for a month or so now. He felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Misery.
He just wanted to die right there and then. Wanted to burst into tears, trying to get her to tell him it was all a lie. A joke. A horrible, HORRIBLE, joke. But this was no joke. No lie. This was the truth. This was what had happened. This was the end of their story.