Something must break

I Don’t Want To Go To Chelsea


Title: Elvis Costello – (I Don’t Want To Go To) Chelsea

 

I don’t think I work like other people. I think my brain can’t always handle the same things as others can. I’m too jealous now, and then sometimes I can suddenly turn of the jealousy. I don’t wanna be jealous. I don’t wanna be jealous about EVERYTHING! I’m not sure how I’ll survive in a relationship that way, but I manage pretty well. At least has done so far. But I feel like there’s more things to worry about and more things that I’m jealous about and more rational reasons for it than before.

 

I’m scared. I’m terrified, actually. I know she can have better than me, but I don’t want her to leave me. I love her with all of my heart, but I feel like she’s slipping from me. From me to her friends. And the guy I hate. I feel like he’s trying to steal her as well. I sometimes dream of shooting a big hole in his head. Everything seems to change, just when I was getting used to, and started to like as well, the situation I was in. By saying I just started liking the situation I’m in, is more thinking about school, since I’ve always liked VERY well to be in the relationship I’m in.

 

I’m not sure what’s happening. I just know I’m not the one in control and that I’m not the “best card in the deck”. I’m not a super person. I’m not good. I don’t have good genes…

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