Something must break

Resurrection Please


A part of me died today. It’s not the biggest part in the world, but really, it did. I don’t think I’ll be so affected by it now as I’d be if this happened a year ago. Or two. Two years ago, this would be really fucking hard for me. Now, I’ve grown a new kind of society around me. I got more real life friends now. Not just one. But you were still my best school friend.

Today, I got a call from my best friend from school. I haven’t dared calling him so before this year, because, for some reason, I kind of hate him as well. He’s so…in love with himself, and everything’s way better about him than others, and everything you’ve experienced, he’s experienced as well, just worse. But still, we had some great laughs. I think we’d be able to laugh really hard and long after just having been just us two for a couple of minutes.

The call was about him quiting my school, to go to another school far away and starting all over really. He’s been away from my school the last two and a half weeks. I haven’t really seen him a lot lately, but every day I got to school and we were supposed to have a class together, I checked if he was there, but was disappointed each time, since he wasn’t. There was a special kind of humor we shared. I don’t think anyone else getting into a conversation we shared when we were the only ones around, would get a fucking thing about what we were talking about and why we were laughing. We’ve been going to the same school for 12 years now. We’ve been in each others social groups for most of that time. He’s been one of my best friends for 5 of them. So yes, it’s hard for me to know that I won’t see him that much anymore, and perhaps never, since he can’t keep track of his appointments and what he’s really doing.

People mix up our names at school. You were something special. You were something else. I hope we’ll meet again, old friend. And good luck at your new school.

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