Something must break

>See You At The Bitter End


Title: Placebo – The Bitter End

The title for this post, is from a great song by one of my favorite bands. Check out Placebo if you haven’t already. And buy “Sleeping With Ghosts”, because it’s one of the best albums EVER made! It’s the most perfect album I can think of that’s not made by HIM (or The Beatles)!

I don’t know how long it’s been since I last blogged now, but it’s not really that important either. Today I got a crappy news, and that was that for oral exam, I’m gonna have MATH! It’s the worst case scenario for me, because I suck at math, and has done since the start of 8th grade. Or, I started to suck then, but it’s when I started High School that I REALLY started to notice, since I got good grades throughout primary school. I don’t know WHAT I’m supposed to have about in math though, just SOMETHING from the book (which means it can LITTERALLY be ANYTHING within 59 different subjects! The task itself isn’t given me before half an hour before I am to hold my exam…and I can’t use ANY communication at that moment.

I don’t think I’m doing too good myself lately. My mood is jumping a lot, and I have VERY little control over my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, search on Wikipedia if you don’t know what it is). Hopefully, I’ll get better soon, but it doesn’t seem like it at this very moment. I’m not sure how to handle the mood swings I’m feeling either. I went from being happy to a mood best described as “I wish I could “kill” myself, but not really die, just get lost from all reality, because I suck so badly”. I could start with lithium, I believe it is that’ll help against mood swings, but it’s VERY dangerous. Should be because you got major problems as a manic depressive, and my manic depressions aren’t that bad in a way lately, I feel it’s my OCD. Or what the hell do I know. I can’t think very long backwards now a days either, just a couple of days.


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