Rock & Roll

Title: Led Zeppelin – Rock & Roll

I chose this title because of the lyrics. “It’s been a long time since I rock & rolled. It’s been a long time since I did this stroll. Let me get it back, let me get it back, let me get it back. It’s been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.”
So in other words, it’s a good description of my blogging. I haven’t blogged here in ages. At least it feels like ages. And that despite all the things that have happened.

But I’m not going to make a superblogpost now about all the stuff that’s happened. No.

I thought a photo was in its place after having been away so long. Photographer: me.

What I’m going to do, is just to let you know I will soon be updating the page quite a lot. I’m thinking loads of more pages, more diversity to the site and really just make it into more of a website than a blog…with a blog.

I’ll let you know when I start. But it won’t be now, and it won’t be this weekend. No pressure, so may forget all about it.

Hope you’re all having a GREAT weekend!

No fucking poetry

Edgar Allan Poe. I once wrote a song about his death. And no, you can never get too much Edgar Allan Poe, so therefore his image is in this post. Image via Wikipedia

I tried writing poetry today (also known as “lyrics“), but it fucking wouldn’t work. I don’t have it in me at this moment. I have the potential of making a great instrumental song, but the lyrics? No, not today. Probably too much…no, I won’t say that. I won’t say I feel too shitty, because you can never feel too shitty for art. Art is supposedly better the crappier off you are. And I’m nowhere near a masterpiece, despite feeling pretty bad now. And I don’t have the courage to say it out loud. Or write it directly to someone. Therefore, I blog.

 

Will there in the future be so that pupils at school will have to read through blog posters blog posts? That would be something, wouldn’t it? But why not? If it’s a bit factual or lyrical anyways. Not just “outfit of the day”. That would be more for the cultural studies. It would be grand to be one of those they had to read. I hope it could be me. Don’t think so, but I still hope. I should really get around to writing that fucking book. No idea what it should be about though. It will be non-fiction. As in neither science fiction, nor past fiction. Guess the term should be something like…well, non-fiction. But that’s already coined for factual texts.

 

So I sit here, listening to the same song without any meaning, just because it’s soothing. Comforting even, perhaps. It has nothing to do with my mood. The lyrics are about some party. I really don’t care. The melody is just…calm. Calm and flowing. And then I don’t have to find a new song and a new band and a new album and a new genre all the time. It just is there. It can keep playing all night for what I care. Might change it eventually. Will not be satisfied with changing it, but felt it was what was expected of me. Probably. I was just sitting here in peace and quiet before I put it on.

Why must it be illegal to kill your parents, when they are probably the ones who deserves it the most?

Really. Why? If I had just gotten rid of them, many of my current problems would be solved. But sadly, it is illegal. To just be free from them…oh, the joy. If I was a child of divorce, maybe it would be easy to sneak away from them without anyone noticing. But I’m not. And they both seems to want me to stay, while saying they don’t want me to stay. They want to control whether my room is clean or not, whether it is an oral agreement on a job or if I have every single details in writing, whether I can be up in the middle of the night, whether I am to breathe or not… I’m so tired of it. The hand that feeds is rarely the hand you long for the most. You want to be free. Human is free by nature. It is not by society.

 

I want to be on my own. Face all my problems myself. Fuck you dad, I’m not going to ask you for money if I ever get into trouble. I never thought I would. You just fucking assume it. Just like you fucking assumed I wanted your help to move out in the first place. Why the hell am I not allowed to do things and manage things and work things out on my own when there are so many thousand people out there which are allowed this pleasure? Why can I not try to see if I am smart enough, and rather crash and burn than be held back by somebody else? Isn’t it better to learn from your own mistakes, than make far worse ones to get to the point where you want to be? I even have the means to manage if, by any chance, my plan should fail to succeed. I know how to cope. Why the hell can’t I show you?
I’ve been laughed at for ten years now. At least. Ten years of them laughing at the idea of me moving out. Not because of the idea in itself most of the time, but because they think I won’t be able to do anything when I’m on my own. They don’t realize that the reason I usually don’t do things, is because it is not my place, my things or my order. I thereby feel scared as shit to do anything about it. For a long time, I hated cooking food because I was afraid I was using products they had planned to use for dinner or something else. And I was afraid of ruining their frying pan or something. Or the fear of accidentally burning the whole house down. Instead of being comforted that none of these things would happen, they laughed at how little I was cooking and how all I would ever make when I moved out was boiled noodle soup and microwave pizza. It won’t be.

 

So, really, why must it be illegal to kill your parents, when they are probably the ones that deserves it the most?

I’m A Geek (Linux Mint)

Image via Wikipedia

Let’s just admit it right now. I’m a geek. I love geeky stuff. I like watching Star Wars movies, play with Linux, learn new things and just dig really deep in music history. Still, I’m not fully and completely a geek. I am other things as well, but let’s be honest: I’m a geek. Nerd. Whatever.

The reason I’m saying so now, is my choice of OS (operative system). I have a mini computer I’ve used the past month in my job. The last half of that month, I chose to use a little OS called Joli OS (formerly Jolicloud and the service it provides is still called Jolicloud). I had it running along Windows 7.

The little computer I have is a Packard Bell dot s. It was a demo computer, meaning it was cheaper for me than if I had gotten a “normal” one. I don’t know if you know how little this computer is, so I’ll tell you. It’s a 10,1″ screen and weights about 1 kilogram (briefly over that, I believe). The webcam included (by what I’ve tested it for taking pictures with) is working better than my Acer 17″ that is much MUCH more powerful in every way than the Packard Bell really is except for this little feature.

Now, I’m done with that job. It was a short job, and I knew it would only last one month. I was happy with using Joli OS, and was going to convert my mini computer into a “Jolibook”, but then I realized that our network connection at home is messing it up. Our network is a N-net with WPA2 security. This isn’t working well with things based on Ubuntu 10.04 (at least). This led me to keep away from this transformation, as it would be a real hassle a lot of the time.

But now I have turned my computer into a full Linux computer. Linux Mint. You never saw that coming, did you? I was even sniffing around on Fedora 16 (which I believe I was thinking of mostly because of its dedication to the late Dennis Ritchie, a man all of us really should be grateful for having lived) at a time, but I found their window management to be…falsely working for my needs. So I made a live USB with Linux Mint 11, and had it erase my old partitions and let it get my computer all to itself. And I must say: choice well made.

It’s based on Ubuntu, which means it’s got quite a lot of features which are already familiar to me. It’s easy to configure the way you want it to go. And it always lets you know whether your system is up to date or not (with something you as a former Windows user would associate with anti-virus programs…but you won’t need one when you’re a Linux user).

The only thing that annoys me with this is really the security. As a Linux user, I am used to my distros asking me a lot about me authorizing this and that, but what’s new here, is that when I get into this computer, I will need to unlock my WiFi! That’s annoying. That’s a waste of time. But still acceptable, as you’re still getting quicker into your system (with this included), than you do with Windows.

I’m not going to say this computer will stay being a Linux Mint, because I do like the idea of being allowed to change this one’s distro quite a lot, but we’ll see. Anything goes, right? But so far, I am satisfied. Loving the easy configurations, the working spaces, the design, the speed and…well…everything I’ve really tried with it so far!

If this sounds interesting to you too, but you don’t want to give up your Windows or Mac OS, then you CAN dual-boot with this! You may do this in several ways: You may simply go to their website, download the version that says something about “Windows Installer”, and here is your options coming up. Either, you can do as I do, and have a free 4 GB USB that you make into a “Live USB” (using UNetBootin) or you may use a tool for emulation, such as Daemon Tools Lite! Then you simply install it alongside your current operative system! Simple! There are probably TONS of more specific tutorials on how to do this (which I suggest you look into if this is interesting you).

Oh, and if you do not have the internet configurations I do, then you really should try Joli OS as well. Probably my favorite OS, and it’s probably the lightest I’ve ever tried!

Ryan Adams & Mandy Moore

Usually, I don’t give a damn about Hollywood couples. What I mean is, I don’t care whether they stay together or split up or whatever. They are usually just something that exists, but I sort of see it as only another show they put on to get more fans or to give some drama for the gossip magazines to write about. But there is one couple I hope stay together. I didn’t realize I cared too much about this either before I just now googled them. When I saw them together, I really felt “wow…these two really should stay together!”. And, which you’ve probably already taken from the title, the couple is Ryan Adams and his wife, Mandy Moore.

 

I am a huge fan of Ryan Adams, and as most people know, music (and arts in general) tend to get better with heartaches. But I feel Ryan Adams have already suffered enough. He has put out so much music that is so heartfelt and seems to have been through tons of shit. And now he’s married. And the last album he released (“Ashes & Fire”) was actually one of the best albums he’s ever made (and his wife is singing in the background of one of the songs)!

 

(The picture is taken from http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/img_0826__opt.jpg so it seems it’s been uploaded by Perez Hilton)

 

I really wish all the best for this married couple. I hope they stay together for ever.

Sonic Lizzzten

Image via Wikipedia. Non-related

This post is going to be informative. That is what it’s all about.

 

You see, it will be about something I will try from now on to make. It is going to be called “Sonic Lizzzten” (as a pun between my nick name and the word “listen”). It will be a radio show, hosted by me, where I talk about many things here in life, but most importantly, music. I will recommend music to listen to, talk about music history, and I will even play songs (just like an ordinary radio show), but the songs will be bootlegs, as I otherwise might get into some legal trouble (and I do not believe I will if I use bootlegs, but we’ll see).

 

It will start some time soon, but when it is up, I don’t quite now. It also will probably not be regularly to a specific day of the week, as this is almost impossible to keep. To begin with, it will be hard to know when the next show will arrive, but I am planning to at least try to keep it as regular as one show per week in December (when I hopefully move out).

 

I hope someone likes this idea, and if someone has any suggestion as to how I should broadcast them, please do leave replies on that. Otherwise, it’ll probably be SoundCloud or YouTube or something. Let me know if you even have an opinion on which of these services you’d rather prefer I used.

 

That’s it for now! I will start WordPressing more soon!

Longing To Belong

Title: Eddie Vedder – Longing To Belong

 

Hello. I’m not very much active lately. It’s basically because I’m thinking a lot of thoughts I don’t want to share. I don’t want others to have them, because they basically ruin it for me. I’ve come to a thought and a train of thought which really has led me to be suicidal. Or actually, perhaps it’s better described as nonchalant about life. There is however an exception to this situation, and that is whenever I’m with my girlfriend. To me, that seems like I’m putting a lot of weight on her shoulders. But it’s the truth. It’s how things are.

 

Unfortunately, she’s not sleeping in the same bed as me tonight.

More Than You Know

Tite: Eddie Vedder – More Than You Know

 

There’s THAT album. That ONE album you JUST CAN’T wait for the prices to lower before you buy it. That one album you can’t let Spotify ruin the spirit of. That one album you realize really NEEDS to be in a physical version and which you really NEED to get NOW, because you can’t risk waiting any longer. It is already too much like an album of your dreams to stay away from it. It deserves the extra cash you use to get it NOW and not in a few months time.

 

I came across THAT album of this year for me today, and had to buy it. It is Eddie Vedder‘s “Ukulele Songs”. How can you not like – no – LOVE the idea of an album with one of the most beautiful voices known to the music industry making an album where he only has the instrument of a ukulele to accompany him!? But that’s not even all there is to love to it! Several songs on the album (“More Than You Know“, “”Once In A While“, “Tonight You Belong To Me” and “Dream A Little Dream”) are covers of old time 20′s and 30′s songs! It is an album that cannot be missed to me, but that I still have a major problem seeing why is so popular to others.

Dear Emma

 

Tonight I had set my alarm to go off at 03.45 AM. It was because I wanted to share a few text messages more before my girlfriend Emma got on her flight and went on a holiday. Her going on a holiday means it’ll be more expensive to send text messages, and so we’ll try to send less of them the following week from now. I unfortunately fell a bit asleep during the text messaging. Not really weird, as I fell asleep two hours before I was waken up again. If I had slept through the whole thing up until now, it would be less than 8 hours of sleep, so I guess I haven’t been sleeping a lot tonight, since I’ve gone on my computer to write a blog post now.

 

The bad thing is, that I fell too hard to wake up again around 6 AM, so when she got on her flight, I didn’t get to tell her that I love her. I didn’t get to tell her, as I’ve always told her before, that she mustn’t die and that the flight must go well. I didn’t get to reply to her three last messages. I didn’t get to tell her the most important thing in the whole wide world to me; I didn’t get to tell her that I love her.

 

I know it’s silly of me to think this way, but I’m really sad now and having a really bad conscience about not letting her know all these things. I feel that if her plane crashes, it will be my fault in a way, and it will also be horrible to know that if that happens and if she dies, she may have thought the last minute she was alive that I didn’t care enough to stay awake and perhaps that I didn’t love her. And I DO care enough and I DO love her! But it’s easy to fall asleep when you wait for a reply.

 

She really means the world to me. Without her, I wouldn’t be here. She saved my life the day we started talking together, which we’ve done every single day for the last two and a half years (and 17 days to be precise). She’s saved my life so many times, I really don’t know where I’d be without her. I’m in tears over the thought of that I might lose her now.

 

Emma, I love you

 

Let Me Show You The World In My Eyes

Title: Depeche Mode – World In My Eyes

 

Sometimes here in life, you might think it’s a good idea to take a break from something. It might just happen by chance, or it may be a decision you’ve been thinking thoroughly through. Either way, the outcome may be, as predicted, a good idea to cut loose. Other times, you’re in the jam I believe to be in right now. I’m just so fucking tired of not having somewhere to be able to express all my frustration in.

 

I’ve come to this idea, that the longer you live, the worse are the kicks to your groin (figuratively speaking). They get harder and harder each and everytime, and when you think you’ve just recovered from the last one, then there is a new one coming right towards you.Lately, I’ve been in more of a screwdriver. It’s not so that the pain is instantly horrific, but it doesn’t end. It’s constantly there, and the longer it stays, the worse you’re feeling.

 

That’s really where you’ve got me now. It’s not that what I’m frustrated about is so much worse than anything I’ve felt before, but it’s the fact that it doesn’t come in one kick, just occassionally are there kicks towards my balls in this screwdriver. I’m so sick of all the nagging about having to rehearse more with my driving, the fact that my entire family seems to be following and asking each and every day how it’s going with my job hunting, how much my dad seems to interfere with my grades and just the fact of that EVERYTHING that my family seems to be talking to me about lately, is just nagging, nagging and more nagging about things I want to take breaks off from, but they just won’t fucking let me!

 

I feel like all this is just making me more and more tired, so though I’ve slept ten hours tonight, I still have a hard time doing anything today, because I’m so tired of everything. Being tired this way also makes me have a hard time enjoying ANYTHING! This is why I love spending time with my girlfriend lately, because she really can brighten up my day and make me enjoy something in life again. Not sure how (or if) I’d survive if she wasn’t there for me.